NEWS_sketch

"...are indefinitely canceled....the declining weather conditions... small commuter .....emergency landing and....witnesses at the scene are.... around at 11:32 PM.... just tuning in....details are a bit ske.... stay on this story..."

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[YOU HAVE THREE NEW MESSAGES. PRESS "1" TO PLAY MES...]

[BEEP!]

[MESSAGE ONE. MESSAGE RECEIVED 10:37PM, SATURDAY]: "Hoooooonnnneeeey! Hope you're okay. Uhm, I don't know what's going on exactly. The pilot just came on said there was something wrong with our runway or there was something happening so now were just sitting around. It's been, what? An hour and a half... two hours almost... and it's really obnoxious and I can smell some guy wearing that terrible Axe body wash sh*t that I hate so much. I can see other planes, about...uhm... at least two or three of them... and they don't look like they're going anywhere either. God, I wish you picked up. I miss your voice. I know I'm supposed to save my battery, but I miss your voice and I could really use a stupid joke from you right now. Uhm... okay. I'm gonna go. Love you."

[BEEP!]

[MESSAGE TWO. MESSAGE RECIEVED 11:25PM, SATURDAY] "Hi, hi. I *still* don't know what's going on. People are just... some lady is just screaming and crying a couple of seats up. I can't get the stewardess to even look at me! They're all just telling everyone to stay calm and that we're supposed to taxi back to the gate. Wait... she's about to say it what's up... uhm... I'll call you back okay? Love you! Bye!"

[BEEP!]

[MESSAGE THREE. MESSAGE RECIEVED 11:45PM, SATURDAY]: "ssssshhhhhsh... sssshhhh...hhsshhhhhhhhh... kssshhhkkkk... sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *"

[BEE-BEEP!]

[END OF MESSAGES. TO REPLAY MESSAGES, PRESS "5". TO SAVE MESSAGES, PRESS "7"....]

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